Such puch ho na
Mera dil doob raha hain
Har pal tumhare bighair
Sab cheez zindagi mein qarwi lagti hain
Ajeeb se khayalaat mun mein aaja te hein
Kya puranay waaday sab jhoot thei
Wo ghalat aur mein bhi ghalat
Likin usne mere undar ek dar paida kar liya hain
Wo ek qadam agai rehta hain
Aur dar ke mare apne liye kuch nahi bol pati hoon
Mein nahi chahti hoon ke mera dil sakht hojai
Mein kisko batao aur kya batao
Ke mera dil doob raha hain
Nerve struck
Heart hurting
Explaination
Exploding
Brushed off
Holding back
Suppressing feelings
Trying to change feelings
Trying to change mindset
Still striking a nerve
Nothing helps
Suppressing again
Exploding
Brushed off once again
Embarrassed
Can’t face the disrespect
Always pushing away pain
More betrayal
Further selfishness
This time, no holding back
Exploding
Broken down
Crossing limits
Complete loss
Turned away
Doors closed
No hope left
No confidence
Feeling small
“A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets”
-Rose Dosen
You’re someone I hold close to my heart, and always have even when we’re not together. I hurt you a long time ago and regret that everyday. You don’t know, but I pray for you all the time with the deepest part of my heart asking God to only bring good into your life, that your successful and happy. I ask God to forgive you of all of your sins and that you can truly forgive me. You’re such a pure, kind, and forgiving soul that you are above my mistakes. You are still kind to me and hope the best for us. You held me together when I was broken, when I lost hope in life. You were my reason for rising above the insanity. You wiped away my tears and held me through the night and day. You’re the reason I’m healthy and safe today. Thank you for being my best friend and my support. Sadly, you’ll never see this but I hope to God that you know what’s in my heart.
Feeling the pain of everyone around
Noticing the weight on shoulders
Hearing the silence in sound
Walking strong like soldiers
Being brave for those they love
Sacrificing their comfort
Putting the happiness of others above
Unrecognized goes their effort
Oh how my heart longs for you
My heart aches for your love
Though we haven’t been apart for much time
To me, every second without you is painful
For you, time goes at its normal pace
You don’t realize the hold you have on my heart
Attempting to make you notice fails time after time
Longing for your affection and getting denied
Slowly boundaries around my heart go up
When you finally feel what I have been feeling and long for my love
My heart doesn’t feel content
Walls around my heart go up
Tension and miscommunication builds on itself
Both hearts in pain
How dare you leave me over and over again? Then try to enter back into my life a whole year later? What is the purpose? Did the friends you left me for leave you now? It's terrible how someone so close to you suddenly decides to leave your life without any reason. It really hurts. It's very upsetting how a friend that says they love you is okay with giving so much pain.
explaining myself
spilling my heart
no one listening
feeling used
pain reoccurring
tears on schedule
repeat
explaining myself
spilling my heart
no one listening
feeling used
pain reoccurring
tears on schedule
repeat
explaining myself
spilling my heart
no one listening
feeling used
pain reoccurring
tears on schedule
repeat
So many limitations.
Going against them only burn me, leaving me with scars.
Smart thing to do is to resist.
Always resisting.
Resisting from experiences.
Resisting from urges.
Resisting from being impulsive.
Constantly having to do the right thing.
It gets mundane.
I’m filled with much guilt.
I’ve committed a mountain of sins.
Struggle after struggle reoccurring.
I finally walk on the right path.
Constantly doing my best.
I know what I’m doing is rewarding for my life.
I’ve changed who I am for heaven.
This is the right thing to do.
Alarms going off.
My mind is cloudy.
Why do I feel caged?
Confusion fills my heart.
Why do I feel caged?
It’s so tough putting yourself aside and taking care of someone else’s needs. It’s a huge burden on your shoulders. You avoid thinking of yourself and how much pain you’re in. Somehow, in that time you selflessly care for someone else and put yourself aside is the time you are growing in character.
From Pain Comes Poetry 